it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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