I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
It's just like the Real World with babies
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
