Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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