He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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