Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
