I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
