oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
