woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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