So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
