This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
