This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
