woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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