I can tuck mytits in my pants
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
