did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
