i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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