Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
