yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
