Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
