I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
