She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
worst night to have a conscience
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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