I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
