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Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
