His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
