Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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