I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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