In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
