Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
