Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
