good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
