he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
