So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
