Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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