My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
