what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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