You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
