after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
