I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
