i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
