In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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