deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
