I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Is it because I queefed?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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