I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
