Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Randomize
