I'm lost and stupid without you.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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