I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
