can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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