Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
