Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Randomize
