Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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