i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
