cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
