Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
be right there i have to get my cape
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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