Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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