My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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