I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
