And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
