The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
