You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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