i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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