Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads

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(719): View more from Colorado

I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.

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(318): View more from Louisiana

Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".

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(860): View more from Connecticut

you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice

(1-860): View more from Connecticut

peace be with you.

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(563): View more from Iowa

he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.

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(217): View more from Illinois

I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...

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(765): View more from Indiana

My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic

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(352): View more from Florida

Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition

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(614): View more from Ohio

Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date

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