Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
